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The basics of writing and delivering a eulogy

Wed, 26 Aug 2026 09:00:01 GMT

Writing a eulogy can seem like a daunting task, especially for people who don’t consider themselves great writers or public speakers. Boiled down, the basic ingredients of a eulogy are reflection, admiration and organization.

First, reflect: take time to think about what your loved one meant to you, what you admire about their character and what defined them as a person. Write down thoughts you want to express. Then organize those thoughts into something you can say in front of people.

A eulogy is a very personal tribute, spoken while everyone is in a state of grief. Expressing your honest thoughts and emotions is far more important than creating a polished, professional speech. So, leave the AI chatbots or virtual assistants turned off and focus on what’s in your heart.

The value of remembering

There are many things to handle after a loved one dies. Rather than seeing a eulogy as another item on a long list, try to appreciate that this honor gives you permission to take a breath, slow down and sit with memories.

You might be overwhelmed with too many thoughts, so it helps to sort through memories by focusing on:

Something unexpected or surprising they once did
A time they showed great strength or resolve
How something they did helped you
What family or friendship meant to them

Now is the time to sit down and make a list of memories that can help tell your loved one’s story. We are all complex beings, and a eulogy need not be sugar-coated and only mention the bright spots. Stay honest as you explore your memories and write down thoughts.

Write what feels natural for you

The easiest things to talk about will be what you have experienced yourself. So, avoid generalities and think about your relationship with your loved one, how they had an impact on you. For example, if they served in the military years before you were born, that’s not in your sphere of familiarity — but it would feel natural to share your experiences hearing your loved one’s stories about their service overseas and how that inspired you.

A eulogy is not a final exam, so don’t use stilted, academic language. Be yourself. You can speak casually, knowing you are among friends and family. Sometimes a moment of humor can be appropriate, and a shared laugh can help break the tension. If you aren’t sure whether a light-hearted remark you’ve written down will strike the right chord or fall flat, run it by a family member or close friend beforehand.

Use structure as a guide

Avoid the temptation to list everything you admire about your loved one and recite a long list of their accomplishments. In shaping your final draft, keep in mind that 1,000 words will take the average person around seven or eight minutes to say.

Don’t rely on your phone; create a paper copy with a large, readable font. Whether you prefer a simple list of shorthand notes or a few typed pages you intend to recite word for word, paper won’t glitch — and it shows others you put time and thought into preparation. That paper itself might also become something you wish to keep in a memory box.

Many eulogies draw upon a familiar structure, in this order:

State who your loved one was to you
Share some memories or stories about them
Say what they meant to you, and others present
List what you learned from them and are grateful for
Offer a farewell message

Deliver it at your own pace

Everyone understands that you will show emotions, so take a moment whenever you feel overwhelmed. Keep a glass of water near you. If you are worried you’ll read everything too fast (a common effect of being nervous or emotional), mark places on your paper to take pauses. Practice the eulogy a few times before the service.

Many people will not be familiar with the memories you share, and they will appreciate the new glimpses into your loved one’s life. Those who already know your stories will feel a connection with you and others present as they listen to you tell it from your perspective. A beautiful eulogy, like all human traditions, helps bring us all together.

Ideas and considerations on scattering ashes

Thu, 13 Aug 2026 22:12:08 GMT

Scattering ashes can be a beautiful ritual that represents a return to nature. It also provides an outdoor place where family can return, to feel some connection to their loved one. Some people let their loved ones know that when they pass away, they want their ashes to be scattered somewhere special to them — hopefully after checking local regulations and state laws.

The places you can scatter a loved one’s ashes, or cremains, are almost unlimited. Popular places include:

Oceans and beaches
National parks
Memorial forests
Scattering gardens in cemeteries
Private property (with permission)

In Nevada, the scattering of cremains is spelled out in NRS 451.700 , which states:

Cremated remains may be scattered at sea or over a public waterway, or by air, from individual closed vessels, or scattered in an area of a dedicated cemetery from which there is no means of location or recovery and which is used exclusively for this purpose.

Nevada residents who wish to scatter cremains near Lake Mead should check the National Park Service Superintendent’s Compendium (§2.62, memorialization). Currently, it states that scattering of cremains is allowed throughout the recreation area, without a permit, as long as the scattering takes place at least 100 yards from any trail, road, developed facility or body of water. Scattering ashes in the waters of Lake Mead is strictly prohibited. Families considering Lake Tahoe should check with their funeral director and look up current statutes, depending on whether they wish to scatter on the Nevada side or California side.

Oceans and beaches along the Pacific are also popular places for scattering cremains. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) requires that scattering take place at least three nautical miles from shore, and you will need to obtain a permit. There are several boating services in Southern California that specialize in burials at sea.

National parks vary in the permits required or regulations governing scattering of cremains. In Nevada, parks managed by the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) classify scattering of cremains as “casual use” and require no permits to do so. Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area is managed by the BLM and families can scatter cremains there without a permit (again, scattering must be at least 100 yards from roads, trails or developed facilities). Valley of Fire State Park requires that you contact the park to obtain instructions and get authorization. Zion National Park , just outside Nevada, requires a permit and a fee. Before you plan a scattering ceremony at any national park, check their website for guidelines.

Privately managed memorial forests throughout California and the Mountain States provide an eco-friendly alternative to a traditional cemetery. These forests allow cremains to nourish a particular tree and offer bio-urns and markers for a fee.

Local cemeteries also have scattering gardens, which is a good option for families who wish to scatter ashes in a scenic, nearby spot they can easily visit. La Paloma works with cemeteries in the Las Vegas Valley and in Reno, and we can help arrange a scattering at the cemetery of your choice.

Scattering on private property is permitted as long as it does not violate local zoning or HOA rules and you obtain the explicit, written consent of the landowner. Some theme parks have a long history of discouraging guests from illegal scattering of cremains, and those considering doing so anyway should be aware it causes rides to be shut down for hours as cleaning crews inspect and treat the area. California considers unauthorized scattering of cremains as a misdemeanor that can come with a $500 fine and even jail time. Disney imposes a lifetime ban from their parks for the offense.

When approaching a private business, common sense applies — for example, a golf course, ranch or sports arena may be open to the idea. Some Major League Baseball stadiums even have established programs to assist generational fans in making these arrangements.

For families who wish to have a picturesque area on private land to serve as a resting place, La Paloma has access to land in Southern Utah . This region is surrounded by tall mountains and lush with wildflowers. For families who are unable to travel, we can create a customized video showing a compassionate scattering accompanied by a message of your choosing.

Humans have been scattering ashes of their deceased loved ones for millennia, so it’s no wonder this tradition feels like a natural way to say goodbye and gain closure. Wherever you choose to scatter cremains, we are available to assist or advise you throughout the process.

How do you deal with the loss of a child?

Mon, 27 Jul 2026 08:15:01 GMT

The loss of a child is the single greatest heartbreak most parents can imagine. At any age, outliving your child changes everything. Marriages struggle, depression sets in and efforts to quickly move past grief frequently fail. Long-term healing is possible, but it takes time.

Therapist Steven Kalas shared his take on grieving the death of a child in his book “ Human Matters ,” explaining that profound grief is like being in a stage play when stagehands suddenly push a grand piano into the middle of the set. The piano dominates the stage, blocking your ability to interact with the other players, and you keep bumping into it, “surprised each time that it’s still there.”

He says you can’t ignore this piano, it changes everything, and you must rewrite the play around it. Over time, you learn to work with it, writing it into every scene. You engage with it, and it’s a part of your life, not to be forgotten.

“You learn to play that piano,” Steven says. “You’re surprised to find that you want to play, that it’s meaningful, even peaceful to play it. At first your songs are filled with pain, bitterness, even despair. But later you find your songs contain beauty, peace, a greater capacity for love and compassion. You and grief — together — begin to compose hope.”

Sounds like a great goal, but how do you begin to compose hope? Here are a few ways to start:

Don’t do it alone

It may be tempting to shut yourself up and close off communication with others who you are certain can’t understand what you are going through. Give yourself some time to grieve but then reach out to your loved ones. Your other children, your spouse, your parents and siblings, and your child’s friends are hurting, too. Sharing your memories and talking about the good times can be challenging and painful, but it can also help.

Seek outside counseling

Talking to a professional counselor or a grief support group with other parents who have lost a child can provide healing and understanding. In Nevada, people who have experienced loss can reach out to Adam’s Place , a nonprofit that helps support children, teens and families navigating grief through education, training and Camp Cope programs. Adam’s Place currently offers virtual support groups for adults every third Thursday of the month. The Compassionate Friends is a national organization with local chapters offering grieving parents advice and support in person or virtually all over the country.

Build a lasting tribute

Some grieving families are inspired to preserve their child’s legacy through scholarships, foundations, raising funds for a favorite family cause or working to help save other children from an untimely death. The McMullan family is a perfect example of channeling personal experience into helping others. They continue to sponsor annual St. Baldrick’s fundraisers at McMullan’s Irish Pub in Las Vegas after losing their daughter Kyra, who fought childhood cancer for more than a year.

“Kyra’s story has inspired a community to step up for kids cancer research. Research saves lives,” Scott McMullan said.

Preserve memories

Keep a journal and a scrapbook to record memories and preserve photos of your child. Invite other family members or friends to contribute their memories, too. You can pull this journal out during times you wish you could share something with your child.

There is no way to make the death of a child feel like an expected, appropriate loss. Coping with that loss is not about minimizing it. Coping means finding ways to support yourself and your family through the immediate aftermath and then creating meaningful ways to honor your child’s memory in the days to come.

How do you assist a loved one as they prepare for death?

Tue, 21 Jul 2026 17:31:46 GMT

Helping a spouse, parent or other important person in your life prepare for their final journey can be an enormous task. First, understand that what you are doing is important and is worth doing. It will require emotional strength, patience and knowledge.

You are already carrying the weight of your own impending grief as you try to help your loved one with practical needs and provide them with guidance and support. Make sure you, too, have the emotional support and outlets you need for your own safety and peace. If you become overwhelmed, ask for help. Your loved one may not have the capacity to emotionally engage with you the way they once did, or thank you for all you are doing.

We will all pass away someday, but those with a terminal diagnosis have a defined timeline. Your loved one might be in a hospital or at home with hospice care. They are likely anxious about getting their affairs in order, as the saying goes. This has become a complicated endeavor, one that sometimes requires help from family, friends and professionals.

Supporting your loved one means balancing practical help and emotional needs, and what that looks like will differ from person to person.

Being present for your loved one emotionally means, simply, being there and listening. Take cues from their level of comfort. If they want to discuss their fears or beliefs about dying, follow their lead. Don’t try to “fix” anything, impose your own belief structure or change the subject. Taking an overly positive stance, like insisting they might have a miraculous recovery, can seem insensitive to someone who has made peace with their timeline.

Practical help, in the form of chores and organizing, can take stress off your loved one. See if your loved one needs assistance with everyday tasks:

Preparing meals
Coordinating appointments
Providing transportation
Household chores
Organizing medications
Assisting with communication among family and friends

If you are the next of kin or have been named with the power of attorney, you will need to attend to legal documents. This can include a will, an advance directive, insurance information and other matters. Many of these require assistance from an attorney or a notary to be recognized as official. If your loved one does not have a family attorney, set up a consultation with one in order to answer your questions. Resolving any outstanding issues now, while your loved one can clarify their wishes, will save you from investing a far greater amount of time (and legal fees) after they have passed away.

Many people have strong feelings regarding the disposition of their remains, so they may tell you quite firmly, and repeatedly, that they want to be buried in a certain cemetery, have their ashes scattered in a particular place, or have their body donated to science. Find out if your loved one has pre-purchased any funeral arrangements, and, if so, make sure that paperwork is accessible. If they have not, it may give them comfort to know you have looked into options and will ensure their wishes are followed. La Paloma offers burial and cremation packages, including help with scattering, and we can also assist with body donation. All packages include La Paloma Aftercare, which helps families navigate the many final tasks that follow a funeral service — claiming benefits, making notifications, settling an estate and protecting against fraud.

If your loved one has a “bucket list” of experiences or destinations, see what is still possible for them. If someone loves to travel and still has some mobility, a cruise or day trip can be a welcome adventure. Participating in things like hobbies and sports can also be adjusted depending on needs. Many senior centers offer opportunities for adaptive activities, and sometimes just being around a familiar, cherished environment (such as a pool, a library, a movie theater, a farm, etc.) can be a positive experience.

Looking through old photos and creating a memory book can be a wonderful exercise for anyone, regardless of mobility. Writing letters or recording messages for family members or friends is another meaningful way to preserve connections.

While your loved one is able to communicate, one of the most helpful questions is “What would make you feel supported right now?” They know their needs best, and those needs might change from day to day. Your ability to meet those needs will depend on your emotional and physical battery, so don’t forget to recharge. And try not to feel guilty if you cannot do absolutely everything — you are only human.

What happens next? Legal steps from death to burial, cremation or shipping

Mon, 29 Jun 2026 22:10:05 GMT

After a person has passed away, there are several medical, legal and logistical steps leading up to burial or cremation. If you are next of kin, or part of the family going through this loss, it helps to know what comes immediately after a death. "Next of kin" is a term for closest living blood relatives or legally recognized family members. Legally, the list of people who take priority as next of kin (in descending order) are: spouse/registered domestic partner, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, nieces/nephews and grandparents, and then aunts/uncles and cousins.

First, after death has been confirmed by the hospital, hospice or other authorities, your loved one will be transferred from their place of death to a funeral home. Next, the funeral home confers with the legal next of kin to obtain required personal details.

The funeral director will input the burial permit into the state's Electronic Death Registry System, or EDRS, a secure platform that allows all parties involved to more efficiently file, process and track death records. The vitals information (medical proof of death) is then verified by the next of kin, and the verified burial permit is submitted via EDRS to the decedent's attending physicians, who complete the burial permit by signing and stating the cause of death. Once verified and signed, the burial permit is sent to the Clark County Coroner's office and the County Health District for verification. These entities record the information, then authorize issue of a certified death certificate. Nevada requires three to five business days to print official copies of certificates. Your funeral director can give you guidance on how many copies to order.

Over the coming weeks and months, you will need official copies of the death certificate to send to life insurance companies, banks, probate court, pension providers, creditors or other administrative entities.

Once death certificates are available, burial, cremation or shipping can take place. If your loved one wished to be returned to their home country, La Paloma can arrange for shipping (repatriation) anywhere in the world. We have extensive experience helping families transport decedents to Latin American countries.

La Paloma works with all cemeteries in Southern Nevada, and if your loved one served our country in the U.S. Armed Forces we can help arrange burial in the Southern Nevada Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Boulder City. Cremations are performed in order of filing, except when expedited, and La Paloma can assist with information on how to follow local and federal rules when scattering ashes. For families who want their loved one's ashes scattered in a place of natural beauty but do not have a specific location in mind or are unable to travel, La Paloma has access to private land in a picturesque part of Southern Utah for this purpose.

La Paloma Celebrates 20 Years Serving Families in Southern Nevada

Wed, 24 Jun 2026 15:29:47 GMT

Founders Ryan Bowen and Christopher Blackburn hired their first employee when they opened La Paloma Funeral Services in June 2006. Six months later, they hired a second employee. At a party earlier this month, they celebrated La Paloma’s 20th anniversary with 39 team members and two locations in the Las Vegas Valley.

Ryan and Chris came to the funeral industry after discussing possible business ventures on a camping trip. Demographics were a driving factor in determining which services would be in demand, and they could see that funeral services was one of the areas that might not be prepared as Baby Boomers aged. They wanted to be able to help their community deal with that looming pressure point.

Ryan eventually took over all operating responsibilities for La Paloma while Chris continued his career as a firefighter. Upon retiring, Chris moved to Northern Utah. Ryan raised his four children in Las Vegas and now enjoys spending time with five grandchildren as well.

“In the very beginning, I quickly learned that I knew nothing about the funeral industry,” Ryan admitted. “And I also learned that some competitors would help a colleague and some won’t.” He was grateful for the help and guidance he got from a few mentors in the early days. In the two decades that followed, Ryan has tried to be the kind of business owner who helps newcomers and fosters cooperation and good relationships with others in the field.

The tight-knit group of people who work at La Paloma, and how long many of them have stayed, speak to that effort. It officially became a family business when Ryan’s daughter, Emilee Leavitt, joined the team ten years ago — she now serves as the Director of Administration. Ryan’s son Ben Bowen is also on the La Paloma team in a manager development program.

Ryan said that being able to work with his kids is one of the highlights of his career. They share the same driving mission that brought him to this industry when he was a young father. Helping families in the critical moments after losing a loved one is an important role in the community, and it’s a duty they don’t take lightly.

Over the years, La Paloma has increased its services available to families, offering custom funeral planning for all religions and cultures, transportation, memorial keepsakes, online obituaries and pre-planning. The original location at 5450 Stephanie Street in Henderson was joined in 2021 by a second location in Southern Nevada, at 2551 S. Fort Apache Road, to support residents in the Summerlin area. The newest offering from La Paloma is the aftercare plan, which helps families navigate the notifications, paperwork and fraud protection steps necessary following a loss.

“Saying ‘the funeral business’ is a bit of a misnomer,” Ryan said. “This field is really better described as family care, because that’s what we’re doing.” Every direction La Paloma has moved in has been determined by whether it would help offer families the transparency, simplicity and care they need during their grieving process.

Over the next 20 years, Ryan simply hopes La Paloma will continue to expand and keep to its core mission of caring for families who need help navigating the loss of a loved one.

After the service: What else is there to do after losing a loved one?

Tue, 19 May 2026 15:31:23 GMT

Dealing with the death of someone close to you is one of the hardest things most of us will go through. We know your grief, and your responsibilities, won’t end after the funeral service. Support shouldn’t either.

La Paloma Funeral Services is committed to guiding families through funeral arrangements, and now that care and guidance extends beyond the service, thanks to La Paloma Aftercare.

La Paloma Aftercare helps families navigate the many essential tasks that follow a loss. Estate specialists assist with claiming benefits, making necessary notifications and protecting against fraud — so families can focus on healing instead of paperwork.

Losing a loved one comes with an overwhelming list of responsibilities. Settling an estate can take 12 to 18 months, and families are put through additional stress as they worry about missing something important.

La Paloma Aftercare provides expert support to walk you through matters like:

Securing death certificates
Navigating life insurance
Applying for Social Security
Understanding pensions
Claiming investments
Notifying employers
Notifying creditors

These are just the basics. La Paloma Aftercare can also help you claim assets your loved one may not have even known about. In the U.S. alone, $70 billion sits in state-managed, unclaimed property funds. After a death, unclaimed property is frequently overlooked because families aren’t aware it exists. These funds can include forgotten accounts, refunds or other assets that were never claimed or updated over time.

La Paloma Aftercare is included in all La Paloma Funeral Services packages at no additional cost. And yes, if you used another funeral service provider locally or overseas, you can still sign up for La Paloma Aftercare for a nominal fee.

For more information, visit https://lapalomafuneralservices.com/resources/aftercare .